On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
In America we eat man semen.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
