I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
