you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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