wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
