your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
