thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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