He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize