a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
