dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Small penises have feelings too.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
