WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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