I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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