When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
