Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
