it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
