In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
