wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
