I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
