I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
