I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
