I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
