Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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