omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
