Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
