I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
