Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
