Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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