You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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