my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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