Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
