doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are all done wearing pants today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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