It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
