As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
