Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
