I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think a kid would responsible me up
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
