She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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