Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
