i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
