Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize