you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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