I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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