just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
