He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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