lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
