Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
