Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
