i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
