; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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