sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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