We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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