i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life