you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.