I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.