you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone