she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!