I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
