I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
