Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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