Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
