Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
