Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
