You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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