its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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