i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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