Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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