just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
