Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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