she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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